[PrimeTime]

Originally Posted by nard

hi PrimeTime, I asked which country you are from because if you are from Singapore, I can offer my services to you and your family free of charge. I am a trained counsellor in gambling addiction. nonetheless, I would like try my best to help you out.

Firstly, I only read the opening post and your response to my question so bear with me if some of the things i say is a repeat of what others have said.

Helping a gambling addict overcome his addiction is not only the responsibility of a counsellor, but also the gambler and his family. Reading your opening post, your father does realise the pitfalls of gambling but his problem would simply be that he does not realise that he himself is a gambling addict.

Step one would be to get him to admit that he is a gambling addict. Whilst you have pointed out that this is not an easy task, it also the first and most important step towards overcoming the addiction.
Try having a family talk. Where everyone talks to him. Do not use an accusatory tone or a "i am better than you" ie. superior tone. Get him to agree with small things related to gambling... start with the small things like "The odds always favour the house/bookie". Move on to slightly bigger proclamations like "I have lost more times than I have won" and follow it up with "I have lost money which could be better spent elsewhere." It is important that you move on to bigger proclamations after he had agreed with the smaller ones. Do not move on until you have made him agree with you with the statements. It is also important that the whole family is present.

Your final statement should be along the lines of

"I have a gambing addiction"

"I know gambling is bad but I can't stop"

The moment you get him to agree to either of the two statements is the first step towards recovery.

Step two

Let him know gambling hurts the family.
Keep reiterating stories of how gambling has split families up (like his friend).
It is important to do this only after you have successfully completed step one.

Step Three

Engage him with family activities. Keep him busy.
I have noticed that your father does not work. This is particularly unfavourable for your situation because he has a lot of time on his hands and the rest of your family might not due to school/work commitments.
I read that your father uses bookies to gamble, I take it to mean that he bets on football games most of the time.
Engage him during the weekends (when most matches are played) and particularly during the World Cup or European Cup tournaments. Do not let him get distracted by the ongoing matches.


I am off to dinner now and would be following this thread.
I hope this reply would help you and your family on the way to recovery from gambling addiction.

Best Regards.

There are times everyday at around 6pm when i got home from work and my mother and sister is sitting in the living room watching TV , after around half and hour , my father will come home (usually) , Do you think it's a good time if before my father comes home , i told my mother and sister that it needs to have a family talk with him ?
I believe my sister will follow , but my mother.. She's more like the passive type and i guessing that she would rather say " Let him be , don't fight anymore , don't talk about it anymore. "
How do i convince my mother that having a family talk is the best way ?

And when the family talk or maybe just a four-eyes talk between me and him , is it good if i told him that the effect of the gambles for my college like , my future and my sister's ?

How do i engage to him during weekends ? Because in my family , most night of the weekends , we end up at home sitting talking , or eventually entering our own rooms.

Yes he bets on football games all the time. And as time goes , if he lost , he'll try to bet bigger so that he'll "get even" , which often leads to big lost.