SC2SEA.com - Starcraft 2 SEA eSports Community Site

This is my first blog, I am writing this more for myself than anyone else as I need to put some words down from my mind.

I recently just returned from a 2 month holiday (binge) in Europe, which was incredible, however this is a Starcraft website so I wont bore you with my real life adventures.

A few months before I left to Europe I decided to play in some SEA tournaments for the first time, after spending a long and lonely time laddering on NA and playing in Playhems. I had some pretty good success in those SEA tournaments and did well in a NASL qualifier, this really built up my confidence as a player.

As more and more time passed I played in tournaments such as weeklys and the like and I generally did well enough to get top16/8 but never achieved my goal of winning a tournament, for some reason I would pick builds that I'd never done before against players that I felt were better than me, making me fall short just before the prize. So, I laddered hard for practice, hitting high masters in korea. But time was quickly approaching to my holiday, and I knew I was going to come back much worse than I left. My wrists also became very sore and tired. So I decided to dedicate a bit of time to HoTS in the hopes of giving myself a kick start in case it was released shortly after I came back.

I had a lot of success in HoTS, hitting rank 14 GM with only pro players above me, beating Startale Ace (when he was playing terran), and pushing other pro players. However, all of this turned out to be for naught given some major major patches occurred while I was gone and basically changed everything.

Two months pass and I'm back. While overseas some things happen with FaDe and I decide to leave. I quickly approach a clan that I've always been fond of, ToR, and I found myself a new home. ToR is everything I expected so far and I'm very happy.

However, I am currently not happy with my motivation to practice. I have been back 6 days and my skill is far, far worse than it was when I left, which was to be expected. But getting back to where I was seems like an insurmountable task, let alone getting better and good enough to win a tournament. I was playing 15 games minimum a day before I left, but the past few days I feel like my ability to string games one after the other is gone. I can no longer bring myself to watch streams/vods for more than an hour without getting the feeling like I'm not taking anything in. I am not sure if this is because I am sick at the moment (bronchitis or whooping cough), jetlagged or if I just plain have no spark.

I want to find my motivation again, I am hoping that when I play in my first tournament after Europe that it will give me back that spark that I need. I still feel like I will never be done with Starcraft until I win an event, and even then I feel like that will just motivate me more to want to win more and more.

I want my motivation to practice back. I want to be good enough to win a tournament.