[syfMiley]

Faptains Logs - The Lost Chapters
Here we have the collected journal entries of Faptain TAMiLes of his journey to MC Lan #3 he was found dead on his bedroom floor the next day.
Note: These logs are not for the weak of heart, if you have any children please move them out of the room.

Faptains Log - Day 1
I have arrived at the MidCity Internet Cafe with my gaming gear and a pocket full of dreams in hope to advance forward past the group stages in the tournament today, beside me is my mate TAdeth who is also hoping to do well today.
The atmosphere of the Internet Cafe was full of promise as we were greeted by the likes of SlowHands a british Destiny fan that sounds like TotalBiscuit and other local lanners such as Kez and Eddie.
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TAMiLes#787

Faptains Log - Day 2
Everything seems to be going well though there seems to be other local creatures at the venue, I have nicknamed these players "The Leslies"
How to spot a Leslie
A Leslie can be recognized as a FOB[1] who sits around all day and plays DotA at Internet Cafes yelling at each other and spending copious amounts of money on 2 minute noodles and energy drinks.
Leslie's usually do not have a job and are not doctors much to the disapointament of their parents[2]


Leslies in their natural habitat

Although the name is similar do not confuse Wesley Snipes as a Leslie
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TAMiLes#787

Faptains Log - Day 7
It is Day 7 here at Mid City and "The Leslies" have not budged, my attempts at making it past the group stages of the tournament were not met with much success so I just chilled with SlowHands and laddered hard.
Watching "The Leslies" has really made me understand why my asian parents dislike the gaming lifestyle I have adopted throughout the years, being FOBS themselves my parents have stuck to knowing other FOB parents throughout the years and they like to show off their childrens achievements.
There was this one family in particular who had this son "Lester" who is still sitting around all day playing DotA and Final Fantasy.
Through my observations it has just really struck me that my parents don't want me to become a Leslie or a Lester who is in the same species such as how wolves are related to dogs but possibly a hybrid of DotA+Final Fantasy=Lester? Another notable mention is the "Westley" the rare breed of the Leslie family that doesn't actually play DotA

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TAMiLes#787

Faptains Log - Day 16
Short update today, Me have gone out hunting for food and found some pies that came with potato, gravy and peas optionally on top. It was like having a shepards pie cept the top wasn't stale and the insides had actual steak chunks in it! Something which I have only found in one other place in Australia as steak pies in New Zealand (where I used to reside) had actual steak chunks in it not mince.
On our way back to our little fallout shelter of a corner in the Internet Cafe we bumped into one of SlowHands aka TotalBiscuit's friends, a friendly German guy who told us about his accidental acid trips and it also turns out he went to school with GoOdy!
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TAMiLes#787

Faptains Log - Day 29
I am sitting on computer 47 and "The Leslies" are still playing DotA, one of them has gone missing I suspect this is probably because his workstation became too unsanitary... Leslie 1 or maybe it was Leslie 2 (I can't tell the difference anymore they all look the same to me) has gone on a pilgrimage to find a new home to play DotA or maybe his parents actually kicked him out of home and cut him off.
After being knocked out in the StarCraft 2 tournament I have been laddering hard and the temptation of playing DotA has still not gotten to me, stay moist my friends.
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TAMiLes#787

Faptains Log Day 36
Pox and MrToast seem to be playing out their QuarterFinals games in DotA, what has become of StarCraft 2
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TAMiLes#787


Faptains Log - Day 31
I feel like time is going backwards, is this me? Is this you?
Leslies phone is still ringing i'm not sure if he will pick it up at all, or maybe his phone isn't ringing I may of just lost my shit.
Total Biscuit is laughing his pants off right next to me, at least I'm not the only one without my sanity.
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TAMiLes#787

Faptains Log - Day 40
I feel like my mind is deteriorating, whilst laddering to keep my sanity I remind myself that there is a world out there.
I don't know how I can carry on, maybe I will have to drink from the water and play DotA

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TAMiLes#787

Faptains Log - Day 52
A female Leslie has appeared and swept away the remaining Leslie, his game is still going on but he is nowhere to be seen, maybe to go make a new colony of Leslies so he can have a 5man DotA team or maybe she was just his mum yelling at him and taking him home because he missed out on her signature dish of rice for dinner.
Right now it is just me deth and TotalBiscuit remaining of the alpha StarCraft2 players on this table.
May the stars guide you.
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TAMiLes.787

Faptains Log - Day of Reckoning



deth's opponent JazBas has finally rocked up to play his match, in good faith TAVoices sends him a PornHub[3] link for the best of luck.
Using the finest of micro deth opens it up in incognito browsing mode incase it is just another smegma video when the manager of MC gaming lan comes up, deth manages to alt tab in time but when he goes back to StarCraft 2 a small glimpse of the window appears in the transition. Awkwardness ensues.
Also screams of Leslies from across the room can be heard, I think some of them are also eating Pho, so that's how they make it through the day.
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TAMiLes.787

Faptains Log Addendum
Me and deth have made it out of the hive of Leslies badly injured with JazBas taking first place 3-2[4] but we have made it out alive and we have each other, TotalBiscuit has gone a seperate way with us and so has the random euroraver guy is nowhere to be found.
We are coming home like Iron Maiden on The Final Frontier tour[5]..home..wherever that may be.
I am ready to fall asleep now, maybe forever.
Just before I go just want to say that I... I.. Lo... I love yo-

[1]For further information on FOBS refer to nirvAnA's Australian Experience

[2] Asian Parents

[2] Asian Parents

[3]
[4]

[5]

[5]

Quick Comments

	TAriiChard:	sickk
	TAminimat:
	SilentNoodle:
	TADivinity:	hahah the majoras mask reference
	Eddie:
	ZergGirl:
	inFeZa:	love this.
	HteD:	thanks miles
	Maynarde:	Yeah ok, I laughed
	syfChadMann:

[[TA]LoSt]

Loved this on facebook and love it here too. Made my day.

[dippa]

your head must be an exciting place to be

i dreamt that i was sleeping in a tree once

also, why do you weigh more after taking a dump? i dont even...

[Eddie]

lol

Nice work dude, funny read!

I didn't get to see many Leslies from my pc...

(Sorry i didn't get to say goodbye, had to rush off)

[syfMiley]

Originally Posted by Eddie

lol

Nice work dude, funny read!

I didn't get to see many Leslies from my pc...

(Sorry i didn't get to say goodbye, had to rush off)

Yeah you other guys had a section to yourselves kinda, hope to see you soon!

[TASlowHands]

Rofl, pretty epic account of the day. I damn near shit my pants laughing when deth alt tabbed in front of the admin showing us all a shot of pornhub vag.

Though i think you left out that almost all the pc cases had been punched in, in a fit of leslie-rage