[Zanderax]

Ill probably get laughed at by saying this but praying has helped me in so many ways. Ill be praying for you and I know God will do whats best.

Quick Comments

	Nemo:	You care, whatever everyone beleif, that's what important
	TAavanar:	i dont think praying will help....
	ZergGirl:

[YJY]

I use to be a gambler, so take my advice. The first step is the hardest step, which is obviously quitting. I had to ban myself from all poker clients and sports books, in order to not get tempted again. Once you do this, you will find it much easier to not gamble.

Take my advice. You can't win. I'm not talking in monetary terms, but every time you gamble tell yourself that.

Quick Comments

Nemo:

[nard]

Originally Posted by PrimeTime

There are times everyday at around 6pm when i got home from work and my mother and sister is sitting in the living room watching TV , after around half and hour , my father will come home (usually) , Do you think it's a good time if before my father comes home , i told my mother and sister that it needs to have a family talk with him ?
I believe my sister will follow , but my mother.. She's more like the passive type and i guessing that she would rather say " Let him be , don't fight anymore , don't talk about it anymore. "
How do i convince my mother that having a family talk is the best way ?

And when the family talk or maybe just a four-eyes talk between me and him , is it good if i told him that the effect of the gambles for my college like , my future and my sister's ?

How do i engage to him during weekends ? Because in my family , most night of the weekends , we end up at home sitting talking , or eventually entering our own rooms.

Yes he bets on football games all the time. And as time goes , if he lost , he'll try to bet bigger so that he'll "get even" , which often leads to big lost.

How do i convince my mother that having a family talk is the best way ?
ask your mother if he wants her husband to improve. if yes, then allow him to let him see the number of people he is hurting.

And when the family talk or maybe just a four-eyes talk between me and him , is it good if i told him that the effect of the gambles for my college like , my future and my sister's ?

dependent. while i would like to say that its good to say that and all, we have to ask ourselves, who is his favourite here? his wife, his daughter or you? play up the effect his behaviour is affecting his favourite.


How do i engage to him during weekends ? Because in my family , most night of the weekends , we end up at home sitting talking , or eventually entering our own rooms.

a change in routine is necessary. or hog the TV without letting him watch football.
or to let him get over his addiction, make small friendly bets with him but this is not recommended.

[YJY]

and dont hav ea ******* family talk. keep your problems to yourself. tleling your family does nothing but upset your parents. you can do this iwthout them

[YJY]

oh wait its your dad

[PrimeTime]

Originally Posted by Zanderax

Ill probably get laughed at by saying this but praying has helped me in so many ways. Ill be praying for you and I know God will do whats best.

Yeah i do pray , i'm a 50-50 Catholic - Buddhist.
I'm kinda into Catholic because of my ex-girlfriend , and after we broke up , i still do like Catholic..
I do pray about this.. i believe god has plan for all of us , this is a challenge of life for me to overcome , and he'll help me but he works in his own time , so we won't know when the help will come , but when it doess , it'll sure boost up our life..
That is what i believe

[PrimeTime]

Originally Posted by YJY

oh wait its your dad

Hello YYJ or YJY , are u the same person ?
i have read all ur post and it made me laugh.. u were all mad and etc , at the end u found out it's not me who got the problem , it's my dad.. that is hilarious..

[biogenie]

Originally Posted by PrimeTime

Hello sc2sea ,
Yes most of u will ask who i am , i'm just a bronze player in Starcraft 2 , so most or even all the people won't recognise me.
I love this forum and has been actively checking for updates but never post anything myself because i know not a thing more than the people in here , but i read a lot from here.

And since this is the only forum i'm active in , i would like to ask for solution and advice.
I'm currently dealing with my father who has a gambling problem and getting worse and worse.
This cycle has occur to me in my family for like since i know about things.
He would first gamble with small amount of money , then after a while time , he will start betting bigger and bigger , and eventually lose big bet , after the huge lost , he would said to me , my mother and my sister to keep the gadget like laptop and internet connection from him , and promised us that he won't gamble again , and after a month or so , he would ask for the laptop and internet connection again , if we don't give him , he'll stare to me and my sister with angry look , and will ask again with a louder voice and keep louder until we give him , there was a couple time where he go physical with my mother , that was when i was still like 10 years old. After receiving his laptop and internet connection , he'll gamble again with small amount of money and eventually the cycle will go around again.
He's currently in his mid 50s , and has no job , where the money left to support our family is the pension money and previous works' money.
He doesn't have any more income and still he gamble away what is left.

I have search the internet and found that there's treatment but need a his willingness , where it's an impossible things to do because he won't admit that he has gambling problem.
Worst of all , most of his friends he hangs out everyday are richer than him , and gamble too.

My mother and my sister is a passive type , and they just can scold him with few words , but then let him gamble , everytime he asks for laptop and internet connection , things won't do good in our family , i will argue with him , but my mother will stop me , telling me to give him what he wants just so that my mother can go to sleep.
My mother even buy sleeping pills because sometimes , when he gambles in the middle of the night , he open all the lights in the room and my mother won't get a chance to sleep.
Sometimes my mother even move to my sister's bedroom and sleep with my sister.
Some of the nights my mother will come to my room and have a chat with me and told me how stress she is , and telling me how tide financial is and father is making it worse , and etc.
My mother once told me that financial in our family is very tide , and starting to go down faster with my father's gambling.
I can't bare seeing my mother so desperately and patiently holding her tears and cries.

He ever once told us (my family) , that one of his friend got bankrupt because of gambling and has lost everything , from a big house , elite cars , etc. Now he's in jail , and his wife is trying her best to live the life with nothing much left , but he never took any lesson from what he told us.

I'm 19 years old (1992) , am going to enter college this year , i'm afraid that things will get worse and worse in my family , i'm afraid i can't finish my college because of father and losing everything.
What i wish is to be able to finish college and be sucessful and can live my own and take over the leading financial in my family where i'm the one in control.

I'm in a desperate moment where i don't know what to do , whom to talk , i just hope by posting in this forum , i'll get solution and stop things before it goes worse and worse.

Any advices and solutions given by people from sc2sea will sure be a help for me.


Thanks for reading,
You have my regards,
PrimeTime

Mate I am prolly a little too late with this reply... But I only saw this more recently, via the "sporting bet" post.

To be honest, I really empathise with your situation cause I gone through this when I was younger..similar to you my dad was an obessive compulsive gambler... It wasn't pretty...

I shall say this gamblers in general have a OCD problem... They are fixated by the need to win, or simply fill this empty psychological gap... In that sense, I reckon it would be best if you tried to help lure your dad away from home, this is what I gather that he prolly gambles online... Similar to how other OCDs patient, the only real help is family....

For me... I knew my dad was in love with the game of golf... So it took some time.. but slowly and surely going out for practise range/ or simply an adventure trip to m'sia for cheaper games became more of a habit; rather than planning the next cruise trip on the agenda...

At the end of the day, gamblers need to diversify their attention. They need to realise that the FACT of the game is more often than not FIXED. I am not saying this out of my bad experience, rather, I believe that if you take a look around, the most profitable "vice" is gambling.

And it doesnt take a fool to realise that only the big corps - gambling corps, are the ones building the mega resorts at ridiculous prices. OR sponsoring the big teams in EPL / Real Madrid. Just take a look around... Its really hard to get that in their head at first... But like any habit or routine, it has to be cultivated...

Personally speaking from what I read, I hope you don't mind me saying, but your family seem to be at home quite a bit? So for the good of your family and prolly for the good of everyone, maybe you can be the motivator and get everyone out.

Go for a Movie.

Watch a play or local drama.

Plan with Tiger air your next holiday location yearly? or bi yearly?

Take a road trip

Go to your famous temple in Solo.

There is more to life than what there is at home.
And to everyone home means a different thing, but surely, to all, home is somewhere you wanna feel most comfortable and yourself.

So with that in your mind.. start building a home for you, and your family again..

All the best mate...

If you wanna talk more... add me on skype / pm...

Cheers.

Quick Comments

Nemo:

[PrimeTime]

Thanks BioGenie , Sure i want to add u , please PM me ur skype or anything that i can contact.

[biogenie]

my skype id: biogenie1

You'll Never Walk Alone mate