I don't want this to be a terribly long account but with the recent sc2sea awards 2012 - I feel I have a few things to explain about my appearances and disappearances amongst the sc2 community and the casting scene. Another catalyst, I guess, is a recent decision of mine to return to freelance casting and retire from Team Immunity. There were a few reasons for this, personally I felt as though I had become less approachable for co-casting roles as I would be expected to cast only for Immunity events. I would like to make clear that iM does not operate that way nor did it attempt to restrict my personality other than to request that I remain professional. Nonetheless I felt that there has developed an overarching stigma that perhaps it would be inappropriate to request my company or to assume that I would be otherwise engaged. From Immunity's angle, I felt as though my lack of commitment could only bring down what is otherwise quite a fearful team of starcraft players. I would like to see their sc2 production end boosted and this is simply something I am not able to provide. I will continue to support the team and revel in their successes and wish them all the best.
So why am I not a more consistent caster? I don't think it is as much about my interest in casting and entertaining - which has never waned (despite the multitude of ZvZ matches on this damn server)! I love the fact that so many people are embracing digital media and the production value of the casters is improving at an exponential rate - to the point where HD streaming is becoming viable even in Australia. I think my sporadic involvement can be explained moreso as an unfortunate circumstance of time. I peaked in the "gaming" world (for those that know me, I despise the term "eSports" and so will refer to it as "gaming") back when DotA was really starting to become popular and invested a great deal of time into my administrator position of the Warcraft III server - Bored Aussie. Bored Aussie still exists, but is a skeleton of its former glory and I really felt that there was a community behind it, albeit with many trolls and misfits. The best time to be involved in gaming or competitive gaming, from my perspective, is between year 8 and the end of university or the end of tertiary education. There is enough time to maintain the rigours of eduction, work part time, and dedicate yourself to an online community in a healthy balance. With the end of university or tertiary education comes a shift in priorities. I refer specifically to further study as opposed to full time work simply due to the distinction between a "job" and a "profession". In my view, a profession demands more than a job which pays regular hours for a regular function. A 9 to 5 position leaves time to schedule other aspects of life, such as a weekly cast or stream. The generalisation may be wildly inaccurate and I apologise in advance if it is, but from my perspective it has become very difficult to maintain a professional profile and keep up with the dedication and often tangibly thankless task of being a gaming personality. I say tangibly because the rush of a good cast or winning a tournament speaks for itself, prizes or not.
As I think has been mentioned enough, I practice law. That fact is irrelevant except for the reality that I have less and less time at my disposal to commit to the online personality who I enjoy being. Mister Zain dealt with a lot of my anxieties growing up and presented an outlet of expression and voice which helped me connect with a broad spectrum of persons of varying ages. It has been a rewarding and ongoing experience which I think is most often healthy if sometimes intermingled with banter and crude language. I always found it most amusing that the paradigm of rules was not unlike societies with laws and regulations. There are honest people who play by the rules, people who bend the rules and people who outright try and destroy. The game is irrelevant, the people are real and will go on to become a part of a society with those same attitudes. This aspect of connectivity continues to interest me and despite a less active involvement with age, I will always find the social aspect of gaming even in competitive forums to be engaging.
When I do find time, I love to play and I love to cast. Those two go hand in hand generally. I'll stop playing casual CS:GO to stream with the likes of Maynarde or Baldie, and I'll quit a ladder game for DotA 2 with the TA boys. The casual scene has become much more appealing to me, I'm simply too old now and frankly not good enough. The dedication illustrated by the younger scene of gamers, who, for the most part, are well mannered, diligent, innovative and awfully quick is as inspiring as it is frightening. Couple that with a full time work and it becomes tight.
What does that mean for my involvement? The point of this post/blog is to reach out and perhaps reconnect with some of the old and new faces of the casting scene. I want to Mr_Zain, the co-caster, who - due to his optus internet and often terrible internet connection, can only ever co-cast - will scream and shout and call it how I see it. If I am online, I'm on skype. If I am on skype and you message and say: "Zain, going live in 30 minutes, can you make it for a co-cast?" It would be a rare day that I would say no unless I really couldn't. I miss being the voice of the game and would love to yell at my computer screen a bit more before I hang up the mouse and keyboard. Which is probably the second aspect, Mr_Zain will need to retire soon - perhaps I'll write something thanking everyone who has made the ride a memorable one at that stage, but for now, if you like what you hear in the casts and have a stream you would be interested in getting me onto - I would be most happy to talk to you.
My skype is no secret: nick1048
Twitter and stream (never really used) is in my signature.
Sorry for this lengthy tale but it goes some way in explaining where I am at with the competitive gaming scene and the community. I am most enriched by the new faces and the community behind the game. If I'm around, I'm willing to get my hands dirty and I apologise in advance if I'm simply not around.
A name I once was intimidated by in BA and it's forums.
A name I quickly found out wasn't the best teammate to have in BA IDL, and didn't care much for the rulings of the league.
A name I despised and associated with arrogance when the FOXQ's allegations came out on BA.
A name which I hated facing on ladder because of the ghost timing attacks.
A name that I grew to respect when I realise everything you are outside of gaming.
A voice I absolutely loved hearing during casts and on teamspeak.
Finally, a man which I'm so proud and happy to have become friends with over the last few years.
Absolutely can relate to having the lack of time to commit to a professional organisation like Immunity. I have it a bit easier, because my job is much easier than your profession. It does come a time when we have to leave it for the younger generation, like many have done before us.
You sir are amazing, and definitely deserve everything you have been told here and otherwise, hope we can keep getting you on every so often man we misses you muchly!!!
Sometimes a tear is shed when I start casting a game and don't experience 8 seconds of lag.
Sometimes I get restless at night knowing countless Terrans are being slaughtered each week at the hand of zergs and are not been given a proper farewell burial ceremony.
Sometimes I notice myself saying "soiree" outside of Starcraft 2
Sometimes I notice myself saying "terranu" while casting
Always I miss casting with you.
We will cast again.. and it will be grand.
Very understandable Zain, tbh casters on teams confuses me a little cos as you said it does seem to limit them a bit, I wish you all the best dude ^_^ would lose to rewatch any cast with you casting me
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