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Akilos · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 4:23 PM

He still blames video games to this day.

Satu · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 4:47 PM

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying.

One thing is clear; you can't sit around and let your father tell you how your life should be. Start by changing the things that are easy to change. Start exercising if you and your father don't like you being fat. It'll make you have more energy and make both of you happier. On top of that you'll need the extra endurance for long days of cooking if you're looking to be a chef. Theres a LOT of time spent on your feet, you don't want to be feeling muscle pains towards the end of a day that slow you down. I've definitely been there many a time before.

Not sure about the driving part, do you have your license or is it simply you don't have a car to drive? Also, if you can't go to culinary school, perhaps looking for an apprenticeship would be easier. That way you're getting paid as well, so your father might see it as a better option. Its certainly easier to support yourself that way, although it takes longer overall to become fully qualified in most cases.

Try not to use video games as a way to hide from your problems in life anymore. Although I can admit I've done the same in the past, you will find yourself much happier once you actually deal with your problems.

Hard to say whether or not you're "in the wrong", but I don't believe its as if theres only black or white. You can be doing better for yourself through your actions, but you seem to be a product of what your experiences have been like in life. This'll sound corny, but its up to you to overcome any negative experiences by getting what you want out of life and not wishing you haven't.

syfChase · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 5:10 PM

Dr Chasu recommends you sketch all your bad feelings and memories out on a piece of paper, acknowledge them as the past and burn it (or tear it up whatevs). The visual stimulus of physical disappearance of the negatively associated memories will aid in accepting the experiences as past occurrences which no longer control or influence you as a person anymore. You need to let go and focus on a positive future which you may dictate as yourself. Being not content with yourself due to past reasoning is psychologically pointless (unless it is a learning experience) We can ruminate on these bad or negative feelings looking from some sort of resolution OR we can leave the pieces on the floor where they were dropped on the floor and start another chapter in life with more experience then what was previously had in order to get a more positive outlook on life and our aspirations and goals.

Dr Chasu says it is good you recognise an aspiration in being a chef and that you should take up cooking as a hobby. Exercise and eating healthy not only promotes a good body physique, but it also is scientifically proven to help our psychological state as well. Also taking up a job (if you do not have one yet) is a great way to pass the time (with the added bonus of $$$ woohoo!) And to meet new people. If you're concerned about making friends than join a social club or activity in which you can have fun and immerse yourself on the company of others. Being happy is attractive and others will be drawn towards you. Be a confident person who is fun to be around and you will notice a difference for sure. You may even score one of those elusive 'girlfriend' things Dr Chasu has seen on the TV.
Challenge yourself and reap the rewards of life!

*Dr Chasu is not a real doctor*

MezjE · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 5:32 PM

Hey mate,

Here is my 2 cents, stop listening to other people and letting them get to you, I know it is hard but do try. Good to hear you found something you are passionate about, try investing some time in to finding a job in the industry, kitchen hand would be a great way to get a feel and really see what it is all about, one does not simply become a chef overnight. The pay would also give you a lot of independence and probably motivate you to do more with your life and take your mind off the hurt.

Losing some weight and exercising regularly though will probably help a lot too with motivation and stuff of that sought. Try finding some clubs or anything to meet some new people and friends, having mates online is great and all but having people there for you in real life is a lot better.

Hope shit gets better dude.

Melord · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 8:24 PM

my parents tell me it everyday!

SLCN.Wally · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 8:28 PM

The man reason I don't go to lans( besides wanting to keep my image as sea's bad boy lan dodger) is because I don't want to tell my parents that any of this exists because they already think I'm addicted, they'd think I was crazy if I said people play this game professionally

ToRSpookToR · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 8:33 PM

Yeah my mother laughed in my face funny that she was the one who introduced me to BW in the first place.

Melord · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 8:35 PM

srzly screw what parents fink of us lol brother tells me everyday wasting Ur time etc even for breakfast and dinner i hear all night till i go to bed i wear ear plugs now when i walk around the house

sR.Kumo · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 8:45 PM

Stephen, I can relate a fair bit to some of what you've said, and honestly, I think it's really good to let things out;
And as others have said, you gotta start acting of your own will, not just listening to everything your dad says; if you can't go to culinary school, try get an apprenticeship, and once you've saved up enough money from that, maybe you could go to a culinary school and pay by yourself? At your age, I don't think you're legally under your dad's care anymore, so he can't really stop you from doing that, and once you've completed that you can prove to him that neither your videogames, nor your weight, make you mentally ill or stop you from succeeding in things.
There always will be those truths which your parents won't believe, and it'll hurt when they refuse to accept it, and make it seem as if you're the liar, the antagonist, but sitting there and not doing anything about it will hurt even more. So you just have to do as well as you can, on your own, and bit by bit, slowly and steadily, you'll bring yourself back to your feet, and from then on you can independently go forth in life as you wanted to, and show your father than you weren't in the wrong about anything.

eCKoa`ProzeR · Mon, 21st-Oct-2013, 9:05 PM

Felt sad reading your story man :'( Hope you can push through and just forget about what other say negatively about you. I'm not so sure how you can convince your dad that you want to pursue culinary school and make him trust you? Probably start losing weight might help? (I'm not saying that being fat means you're ugly and stuff, just probz be more fit and healthy?) But I think you should be able to convince your dad that you are old enough to be an independent person and choose what you want to become

Overall, wish you the best of luck

Bullying sucks! >

x5_Bard · Tue, 22nd-Oct-2013, 1:13 AM

I think nearly everyone can empathise with your situation. The great thing about being at a personal "rock bottom" is that the only way is up. I found a great sense of joy when I figured this out. Nothing could get worse I told myself, so why don't I just make the most of it and enjoy the run. So instead of focusing on everything going wrong I made an effort to do things I liked, caught up with friends I hadn't seen in years, started going to the gym and even just helping people out. You would be amazed at how far having a positive attitude and seeing that glass half full will change things.

I'm not too sure about the parent stuff. Personally my Dad has always been right. No matter what, everyone decision I have asked him for advice on he has been correct. I remember him telling me what subjects I should do in yr12 and complaining that it was rubbish and that I was never going to do engineering. Guess what course I'm doing now at 23? Engineering. I could have saved myself 7 years if I had simply followed it from the beginning. If your dad wont let you drive ask him what he thinks you should do, tell him you would like to purse a career in hospitality and how he thinks you should go about it. Just have a genuine sit down and chat about your options.

FLuX · Tue, 22nd-Oct-2013, 3:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcaspook

Yeah my mother laughed in my face funny that she was the one who introduced me to BW in the first place.

On the opposite side of this, telling my parents this actually gave me a lot of leverage for justifying the time spent playing/watching. I just tell them that when they watch programmes on TV in the evenings, I watch SC2. When my dad gets up in the middle of the night to watch football, I might get up in the middle of the night to watch a foreign SC2 tournament. They've come to terms with it and accept it as a normal part of my daily routine.

sR.Kumo · Tue, 22nd-Oct-2013, 5:21 AM

T_T I hope my parents are like that one day, my dad only sees videogames as a distraction from studies, and I'm sorta scared to even suggest things like the idea of gaming professionally to him D: