This blog is going to be me blabbering about something I've felt for a while, so disregard the poor English/grammar.
You guys probably know me as someone that is competitive and dislike being looked down upon, but that was the only second biggest motivator for me to play SC2. Number one was the close friendships and comradery that I've experienced in my SC2 life. My 1st return to the game was because I wanted to be apart of the xGKing team in SEACL.
Lately I've been feeling very lonely while playing SC2, with no close personal friendships and activity, the only person I talked to about SC2 was Iaguz on KR. The memories of playing with nGen, TA, xGKing, iM and mGG makes it very hard for me to let go of a game that has dominated my social life in the past 3 years. However, things are not like what they are used to, feels like I keep trying to bring back a ship that has already sailed. Teammates and friends I've met through SC2 are people I feel are buddies now, but no longer inspire me towards the game the way they used to. The reason I've been streaming the last few days was because I've gotten to the point where I'm absolutely desperate to feel that I'm not alone while playing the game.
I've told my girlfriend about how I've felt for a while now, I keep telling her I'm going to be quitting, but being competitive and lingering memories just keeps me going. So we've come to a goal that I would probably quit once I win major national LAN - which was definitely something I was very confident about following my peaking practice performance. However, after not being able to go to AVCON, and finding out I can't go to ACL, I wasn't even that disappointed, I guess fate is trying to tell me something I already knew.
I started playing Terran at the beginning of Hots because I wanted to revitalise the joy of having fun at the game, and it worked for a while, until competitiveness drove me back to playing Protoss. I had much more fun when I'm playing Terran, but I play Protoss because winning was the ultimate reward, and hearing people say "lol joke race" still puts a smile on my face. Also having the same guy that motivated me to mass practice say that to me makes me second guess why I bother.
Anyway, long story short, I'm moving aside for the likes of Petraeus and joining my old teammates, friends, and competitors in the next chapter of our lives that would hopefully bring me abouts the same loving feelings that SCII has once made me feel.
Rayray
Basically just following the footsteps of Tim, Brad, Dan, Cam, Alex, Thomas?
Completely agree with how you feel.. Its cool how this game in our scene developed so much more competitive, but regardless of if it has impact on what used to happen in the past, where we practice together, (winner stay ob maps, nGen practice games), raynors parties and all sorts of UMS (with STRainbow at one time!) is all just a memory and doesn't happen anymore
Sad to see you go, hope to see you in online or offline events from time to time!
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