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So, after coming off a pretty devastating loss this evening to ToRSchnitzel (who is well deserving of his victory), I found myself being so frustrated and annoyed at myself and my own play. My ZvP has been, to say the least, awful for several months now; and I've luckily managed to avoid protosses in tournaments for a long time. But tonight I felt really ashamed in my play, and I didn't represent myself as well as I feel I should have.

After a short, angry outburst I logged off SC2, informed my team that I was going for a walk; and then left the house. I walked for 45 minutes up the closest hill there is, then came back down the other side and back up via another hill. 45 minutes is a long time, and I had a lot to think about. I kept getting really exhausted, my knees felt like they were going to shatter, and my breathing was shallow, but I kept pushing myself telling myself that I wasn't going to get anywhere if I keep giving up when it gets tough.

I thought about how I am, as a player; my lack of practice, my lack of focus, my lack of understanding; hell, a whole lot of things I'm lacking right now. I've been really frustrated with ZvP lately; but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's less about the matchup, and more about my attitude to the game.

I can't help but feel like I got a lot out of my loss tonight. I went into the series off the back of two fairly big wins, or so I felt; a 2-1 victory over aLtSang and a 2-0 over AuXJambi, and was feeling much more arrogant and cocky than I should have. Now I realize that now, more than ever, practice is more important than the games themselves. It's all well and good to go into a series and win, but unless you earn that win, what's the point?

Well, the good news is I feel more motivated to improve than ever before. This is the start of a new player, and I'm going to prove my worth. I'm not going to disappoint myself, or my team, with a loss like tonight's again. I'm going to practice more, and practice better and show everyone what I can be. Before the end of this year, I want to be counted among the greats of SEA.

A big thank you to all my brothers at Iris; thanks for all the help and support you've given me over the past 5 months. I won't let you down again.

Please cheer for me, and for Iris.

IrisFLuX.