Looking good A couple of things you can be looking at is, particularly in a game like the one listed (muta vs muta), be constantly flicking back to the units tab so that spectators can see what each player has, and who holds the advantage; etc. Pointing out things like the speed advantage that you had early game was good. You could also think about minimizing UI in big battles like the one where you took a really good engagement vs him when you flanked his army when his muta were a bit out of reach.
You don't necessarily need to follow the army the entire time either, I think jumping back to bases to show whatever's there is good as well; that being said there was a lot of positioning and repositioning to do. Also showing vision of each player a bit more could go a long way too.
GLHF for MLG! You'll be great mate, looking really good
Infeza would be able to give you the best advice most likely
That said I think you should lower your scroll sensitivity to allow you to move the camera in a more smooth and controlled manner
Also as I understand it you will be linked in to what the casters are saying so you will take a lot of cues from them
also don't forget the big pop-up info thingies like ctrl+a if caster are mentioning army sizes
Lastly don't be afraid to zoom and pan camera sometimes if there isn't much going on bar a small 2 ling v 2 ling fight or something similar but thats just my opinion - best to listen to infeza on that :P
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