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The unkindness of Life
 

If anyone has seen my stream over the past few days, you would have noticed I haven't been using a webcam, it's mainly to hide my face, I am in a really bad situation financially and not really dealing with it too well, it has put a massive burden on myself and my family.

I apply for 10-15 jobs a day and have been out of work for close to 2 months, I have sold my old car (my first car) to cover as many bills as possible, have sold many other items just to keep myself on top with everything that's going on, however it's now starting to pile up, my budget has gotten even tighter.

My expenses that I pay out leave me with about $15 a fortnight for food. No I don't want sympathy nor do I write this asking for money, that has never been in my nature, I am upset with myself for being so careless over the past 2 years and not saving as much money as I can, instead I spend a lot of money on better gear for gaming, spend money on coaching for a game I will never get good at, I buy online merchandise for in game benefits, I have been careless.

I am writing this to say, I am deeply sorry to those that I have acted out against, those I have belittled, those that I have started arguments with for no real reason. I am sorry to those that have put faith in me, for me to simply act the same immature way again. I am 24 years old and have nothing to show for it, I honestly think I need to take a break from various games and gaming related content, I am unsure of how this will go for me as gaming as been in my life and kept me here for a good 8 years.

To those that have helped me along the way I thank you. I wish everyone all the best, if I come back here, I will try to be a better person, a more responsible adult.