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An apology and plea for help.
 

Hi Guys,

Im Philosopher. Those in mGG will already know me, being a member of their clan and all. Others may know me from BSG or other tournaments that Ai enter and inevitably fail at. some may know me from my noobish questions in the chatbox. worst of all, some may know me from the ladder...This is mostly directed at those who may have met me on the ladder, but I put this out to the community as a whole.

Im writing this because, as most in mGG and those who hang around the mGG channel on SEA will know Im a rager. I have a big rage and bad manner problem, and as someone in mGG noted 'Philosophy has a lot of anger in him'

I love Starcraft, like many of you it has been one of a few pillars in my life, the others being friends, family and University. Im not very good at Starcraft, I want to be better. I made a pledge with myself at the start of this year, when I was still in bronze that I would attempt to reach Diamond league by the end of the year. At the moment Im currently a high rankedSilver league, Im also able to take games of olds and have come very close to stealing games of Platinums.

Lately, the last couple of days or so, I've been doing very poorly and my rage and anger have started to become a lot more problematic then it was before. I rage, bitch and moan and BM people on the ladder using language Id rather not repeat here. These people aren't bad people, they aren't hurting me in anyway, all they are doing is legitimately beating me with the same strategies and tactics that Im trying to beat them with. These people aren't bad people and they don't deserve any of the crap that I throw at them as their units pour into my base.

This is a plea for help as well as an apology.

I first want to apologize to all the people I've met on the SEA Ladder and to the community as a whole. Ae come to realize that my actions begin to reflect badly on my clan, people Ive come to care about and who help and support me. But my actions also reflect badly on the SEA community. SEA is an awesome community which I want to help expand and grow, but when new players meet me on the ladder, that doesn't reflect well the community that we have. So I would like to sincerely apologize.

I also want to ask for people's help. I don't know really how to control my rage or bad manner.I have tried just walking away from the computer. I have tried exiting the Mae as fast as possible, but every time I start to lose, the filth just pores from my mouth. If anyone has any tips or has any suggestions which may help me overcome my problem that would be really good. I don't want to be a dick anymore, but I hate losing and I don't know how to overcome these problems.

The 2nd ask for help is not really important, mGG helps me a lot, but someone dedicated to helping me improve would be nice. What I really wanted to do was just apologize to everyone, especially my clan, and ask for help.

Hopefully if I can get over this problem I might be able to achieve my goal of Diamond. I would really hate to fail that goal, on top of everything else that is going wrong in my life.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope it wasn't too wordy, or boring.

Regards,

Philosopher.