[dippa]

I might not be one of the "big names" around here, but don't worry, I saw your pain buddy.

+ [Earlier this morning ...] +

[5:21 AM] ThePandarine:
you know what sucks when you're the only kid who has been kept away from social events other than those chaperoned, communicating with people parents disapprove of and not show social etiqutte?
[5:21 AM] ThePandarine:
when you have your own opinion and others are greatly against it
[5:21 AM] ThePandarine:
you just dont know how to counter their arguments
[5:21 AM] ThePandarine:
its frustrating sometimes
[5:22 AM] ThePandarine:
sometimes even maddening and saddening
[5:22 AM] ThePandarine:
bah
[5:22 AM] ThePandarine has reached 10500 chatbox lines!
[5:22 AM] ThePandarine:
what do i know eh?
[5:22 AM] ThePandarine:
im just a 19 year old kid who fucked up for the last 4 years
[5:22 AM] ThePandarine:
so what do i know compared to the countless years people have
[5:23 AM] ThePandarine:
i should just ******* keep quiet and ******* die in a corner
[5:23 AM] ThePandarine:
doubt anyone would notice or miss me
[5:30 AM] ThePandarine:
maybe i should...tho this time not with pills...
[5:31 AM] ThePandarine:
drowning, bleeding, electrocution, suffocation
[5:31 AM] ThePandarine:
might even consider sepukku
[5:31 AM] ThePandarine:
idfk and idfc
[5:31 AM] ThePandarine sighs loudly
[5:31 AM] ThePandarine:
i think im glad chat is empty now
[5:32 AM] ThePandarine:
sometimes i feel what i say is never heard
[5:32 AM] ThePandarine:
tht saying even the little guys count
[5:32 AM] ThePandarine:
is not true
[5:33 AM] ThePandarine:
always the big names rolling
[5:33 AM] ThePandarine:
hahaha
[5:33 AM] ThePandarine:
theres a laugh
[5:33 AM] ThePandarine:
always a popularity contest aint it?
[5:33 AM] ThePandarine:
meh

Don't do it.

Give 13 11 14 a call. Lifeline hotline, free anonymous call, they're good people and they'll help you out. Failing that, I'll always be around midnight-6am weekdays if you need someone to chat to.

+ [To everyone else who might have a problem with this being a thread] +

Get fucked.

I won't be up at this hour until Monday morning, and there's no ******* way I'm going to wait 48 hours+ to say something that could potentially help, or prevent someone from harming themselves.

Quick Comments

	DGWoLF:
	Cute:
	FSBenAD:
	ToRDjvillian:
	Champi:
	TAriiChard:
	TAEdgE:
	ROOTPetraeus:
	TAminimat:
	mGGNemesis:
	iMSystem:
	VoxMSI.Rogue:	Dippa you are my hero
	Bash:
	FSDele:
	Fourby:
	Zepph:
	ToR.Arnor:	watta boss
	Maynarde:	Lots of love dippa
	NOM:	I'm throwing rep at the screen and nothing is happening.
	syfChadMann:	you sir and a gentleman - and a ******* boss.
	ToRSpartaz:
	Cyanide:
	Dox:	i wanna wear your face
	Xenomorph:
	QEDMazaire:	<3
	AxSGRiM:
	Reere:
	IcedTea:
	Baldie:
	asdfSchnitzel:
	MrSandman:
	TAavanar:	more rep for being a boss
	TABottles:
	syfPhoenix:	we need more people like this in the world :)
	MaTterJunKie:
	TCPKiaSu:
	EveParachute:
	Nemo:	You're a good person :)
	VoiD:	Dippa being amazing :D
	TACeeSerps:
	Nandos:	good guy dippa
	EveLoire:
	ToRQwerTy:
	TCPGunter:	shut up qnd take my rep :)

[dippa]

Also, I should point out that making the thread gives everyone else the opportunity to be a force of positive reinforcement (which isn't possible through a PM), so come on, time for everyone to step up.

Quick Comments

DGWoLF:

[DGWoLF]

Panda.... Never say Die

[Cute]

I know that it's perhaps the last thing you wanna hear, but it really does get better man. Even if you've fucked up for four years, that's barely anything in the grand scheme. As dippa said, get help. Find something you really love, live for it, and make the next four years good ones.

For what it's worth, you've always come across as a super nice guy here, and even though it sometimes doesn't seem like it, that does count for something.

Also, **** being popular.

PANDA FIGHTINNNNNG

Quick Comments

DGWoLF:

Social Outcast FTW (looks at myself)

[ToRSpartaz]

Owen bro I have known life has been getting to you lately and life around you has been causing you so much pain. Hopefully you should know now man, that even when you seen alone your not alone. you have the support of all of the ToR guys and I know how much the community cares about you man.

Live for yourself man, as long as its you that is happy thats what really matters man. I know >< how hard it is sometimes if you are living to make others happy is can really get you man.

All im saying is live free, follow your dreams and passions mate. Things will lighten up soon Owen bro, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen ill always make time man.

you bro as im sure and sc2sea does as well.

Quick Comments

DGWoLF:

[ROOTPetraeus]

Panda its just a rough patch man. Everyone goes through them
You are an awesome guy and don't deserve this. I'll just leave some panda pics to cheer you up.

[FSBenAD]

Yeah ill echo what the guys above say!

Lifes full of hard time, rought patches, and people who like to think they know better.

But lifes full of so many amazing people and amazing expereinces too and we have to expereince the crap stuff, in order to really savior and enjoy the good.

Don't do anything drastic, many people here will lend you an ear whenever you need. ToR are a good clan and are there for you, the fusion slugs have your back too

For me personally, you are one of the nicest people on the site (and thats hard, there as sooo many great and friendly people here).

[Flamga]

Hey you dont need to stress your 19 and still finding your feet to put it into perspective I studied Engineering and dropped out after writing my thesis cause I didnt like the course in the end. You may think its a waste of time but what you will remember it later is as a lesson you will never forget.

If anything I know how it is, ive been through depression (2 attempted suicides), dealt with being Bi (and people finding out) being beat up for loving gaming (even by my own brother) and it does take you to a drak place. But you know thats what friends are for, family want the best for you, but we just want you to be happy and be awesome!

I dont want people to read what I did up there and go, well hes just comparing and he couldnt know etc. If you have been through this before then youll understand that its not just your feel bad, you just cant help it and it takes a lot of friends and time to heal

Stay here Panda, tell us your troubles and who knows maybe we can help.

(Oh and I totally get the parents thing lol, I went off at mine for not letting me cook my own meals, go figure >.<)

Quick Comments

	Asrathiel:	Hugs for you too!! *huuuuuuugs*
	mGGNemesis:
	ToRSpartaz:	Awwww Sean :(
	Baldie:	♥
	asdfSchnitzel:	<3

[Jaywalk]

just keep rolling man

Quick Comments

	ToRDjvillian:
	NOM:
	IcedTea:
	Nemo:	Panda, let's roll !

[Champi]

Hey Pandarine,

We've never spoken but as soon as i looked at this thread knew who you were because i've seen your name all over the place in this community, so your deffinitely not unoticed man

I suffer from depression and if you're feeling this much pain my advice is to speak with a counsellor. It took me a LONG time to be convinced to go see one because i always thought that needing to see one would make me weak, or that i was sick or broken in some way to be needing to see one, but really its none of those things. All it is, is speaking to someone about your troubles in a safe and private environment, the best release for all this pain is to talk about it, and the internet is deffinitely not where you want to be doing that. i highly recommend you consider this, as it has helped bring me with struggling from the empty brink of nothingness to the everyday guy smiley i am today

Quick Comments

	TAEdgE:
	TAriiChard:
	x5.Revenant:	^

[Asrathiel]

Aww Panda ♥ If I could reach you I'd give you biiiiig hugs

Quick Comments

	x5.Revenant:	Queen of hugs~
	mGGNemesis:

[x5.Revenant]

You're definitely not unnoticed, I see your adorable name everywhere!

Being a "big name" or not doesn't matter. Everyone is equal in this community!

Quick Comments

UHF:

Being a loner myself, it honestly doesn't feel like that

[syfCabracan]

Hey man, I don't really know you but your's is one of the names I recognise and look out for in chat. Mostly it's just because your another terran in this sea of zerg but everything you say is appreciated here. I'd say to try not to compare yourself to other people, we always see what's good in peoples lives and hardly ever whats bad and when we compare what we really know about ourselves to people we don't truly know it sets up an impossible standard. One of my psych med tutors told us to forget about "I'll be happy when ..." stuff, hopefully you can find some stuff that makes you happy right now. Also don't be afraid to go for help, depression is a real and serious illness and if you ever feel you need help or nothing could possibly help, there are a lot of people out there for you. Hope everything goes well man.

[VoxMSI.Rogue]

Panda

If there is one thing you should know, the truth is you would be missed, your family hurt and their lives changed forever.

As someone who has been through 10 years of extreme depression and had many friends take their own lives I can tell you that getting help and living through this is worth it. Everything sucks now, everything is hard, but it isn't always like that. There is a rainbow on the otherside of this storm, and when you get there you'll realise how ******* thankful you are that you never hurt yourself that you never took your own life.

I am always around if you need to talk, usually up late at night and online a lot. If you ever need to talk to someone PLEASE contact me. Even if it's only for me to tell you to fight through this for those who love you!

Suicide is the most horrible and painful death there is. It effects people long after you are gone and anyone who takes their own life really has no idea the profound impact it really has. Anyone on this forum who is thinking about hurting themselves or taking their life I beg you to please get help or talk to someone you trust. At the end of the day your life is so precious and no matter the pain you are feeling now things do get better and you only get stronger.

Kia Kaha

Quick Comments

	mGGNemesis:
	ROCCAT_Savior:
	ROOTPetraeus:
	Bash:
	nirvAnA:
	Xenomorph:

[ToR.Arnor]

Hey Champ

Chin up, **** the haters, **** the immature fucks that put you down, **** them all because they are worthless pieces of shit not worth pissing on if they were on fire. Life is bullshit sometimes, lets not pull any punches sometimes it down right sucks balls, but yeah that old cliche it does get marginally better as time goes by. There are plenty of people, online, in your real life and in the professional world happy to help, just take the step and ask for it ^_^

[Paroxysm]

Stay strong bro

[Peleus]

Hey Panda, just letting you know that there is nothing wrong with feeling how you are, but you should also talk to someone and get the to help you feeling a bit better as well. Even if its not someone professional have a chat to some of your family (brother? sister?), someone you know from school, hell even one of us if you feel a bit better doing it here. The main point is having a chat to someone. I'd strongly encourage you to talk to professionals about it (such as the great people at lifeline), but remember that someone is better than nothing.


We're all thinking of you

[NvPinder]

You're on my favorite t-shirt!

Quick Comments

FaDeBadger:

I want that shirt!

[Zepph]

Try not to let things get you down friend.

When everything else sucks, your sc2sea family will always be there for you. Just give us a yell (:

[Loach]

Panda, things may look rough at times but there are always people to listen. 5-6 years ago I lost one of my best friends to suicide, I only wish that he had asked for some help so that I could do something to atleast try and change his mind. That experience has changed me as a person.

Just look at all these people in here that are being supportive of you that haven't even met you in real life.. Life can be a lonely place at times... And the internet can make it worse 1000's of times over.. but look at the support you have from this community. I for one would surely do anything in my power to help you out man and I'm sure many others around here would as well.

Gimme a call on skype sometime (korgha89 is my add) if you wanna chat about whats getting you down, what i went through losing my friend, or even just a chat to take your mind off of life and onto something you can smile about.

Quick Comments

ROOTPetraeus: