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An apology and plea for help.
 

Hi Guys,

Im Philosopher. Those in mGG will already know me, being a member of their clan and all. Others may know me from BSG or other tournaments that Ai enter and inevitably fail at. some may know me from my noobish questions in the chatbox. worst of all, some may know me from the ladder...This is mostly directed at those who may have met me on the ladder, but I put this out to the community as a whole.

Im writing this because, as most in mGG and those who hang around the mGG channel on SEA will know Im a rager. I have a big rage and bad manner problem, and as someone in mGG noted 'Philosophy has a lot of anger in him'

I love Starcraft, like many of you it has been one of a few pillars in my life, the others being friends, family and University. Im not very good at Starcraft, I want to be better. I made a pledge with myself at the start of this year, when I was still in bronze that I would attempt to reach Diamond league by the end of the year. At the moment Im currently a high rankedSilver league, Im also able to take games of olds and have come very close to stealing games of Platinums.

Lately, the last couple of days or so, I've been doing very poorly and my rage and anger have started to become a lot more problematic then it was before. I rage, bitch and moan and BM people on the ladder using language Id rather not repeat here. These people aren't bad people, they aren't hurting me in anyway, all they are doing is legitimately beating me with the same strategies and tactics that Im trying to beat them with. These people aren't bad people and they don't deserve any of the crap that I throw at them as their units pour into my base.

This is a plea for help as well as an apology.

I first want to apologize to all the people I've met on the SEA Ladder and to the community as a whole. Ae come to realize that my actions begin to reflect badly on my clan, people Ive come to care about and who help and support me. But my actions also reflect badly on the SEA community. SEA is an awesome community which I want to help expand and grow, but when new players meet me on the ladder, that doesn't reflect well the community that we have. So I would like to sincerely apologize.

I also want to ask for people's help. I don't know really how to control my rage or bad manner.I have tried just walking away from the computer. I have tried exiting the Mae as fast as possible, but every time I start to lose, the filth just pores from my mouth. If anyone has any tips or has any suggestions which may help me overcome my problem that would be really good. I don't want to be a dick anymore, but I hate losing and I don't know how to overcome these problems.

The 2nd ask for help is not really important, mGG helps me a lot, but someone dedicated to helping me improve would be nice. What I really wanted to do was just apologize to everyone, especially my clan, and ask for help.

Hopefully if I can get over this problem I might be able to achieve my goal of Diamond. I would really hate to fail that goal, on top of everything else that is going wrong in my life.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope it wasn't too wordy, or boring.

Regards,

Philosopher.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

It's cool philo, just don't let the hatred consume you or you'll become darth vader and I don't approve of siths.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

I really don't know how to say this without coming off as blunt and obtuse, but the best thing to do is grow the **** up.
If you can't handle failure by now then it's about time you get over yourself and realise that someone performing better than you isn't unusual; it's not some mystical accident that by coincidence someone performed better than you at something.
Welcome to life; just because what you say online doesn't have an immediate face-to-face feedback doesn't mean that is somehow any different to abusing someone who can: run faster than you, write better than you, recall abstract facts you can't even begin to comprehend, and so on.

I cannot stress enough that I'm genuinely not trying to be offensive or condescending in what I'm saying; it's just one of those things you have to grow up and deal with.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Rico's advice to you would be to find the enjoyment and fun from playing SC2 again.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Hey Philo...no worries...take it as it come, win or lose (don't worry about your wins or loses). Just have FUN!

I at times rages as well (you know i sometimes rage as well), but it shouldn't stop you from just practicing and practicing. Everyone in the world, no matter who you are different. Some people can learn things quickly, while others take longer to learn things quickly. You (and I), probable falls under the take longer things to learn category, but this doesn't mean you won't ever reach you goal (it only takes longer).

No one in the world is perfect, some people are naturally good at playing SC2, while some are not (such as myself). But this shouldn't stop you from playing. There are always someone better someone in this world, take a look at grandmasters in any server, they also lose to people better then they are. No one in SC2 (or in any game for that matter) will have 100% win rate (including Progamers), which mean they suffer loses at someone better than they are. So dont take your loses so seriously. All that matters you did your best (even if you didn't, that's fine, but DON'T be too hard on yourself), but more importantly you had fun while you are playing!

So don't give up, life is too short to be raging and raging at the end of the day is pointless. Raging or not your problem is still here and it wont go away until you deal with it (in the case Practicing). Raging prevent you from having a clear head to go into the next game and the rage will follow you into the game and may not be so successful game as well.

In most time i am in the same boat as you, just losing and more losing. But take each lose as something to learn from. People Learn from Mistake, in order to get better. Look at this way winners won't learn anything, until they have lost! Pick any Pro player, do you think they are instantly Pros when their first pick up Starcraft? I think not. So they must of practice to get to where they are right now. So just keep practicing!

Just take it easy when you are in the game, if you lose you lose. I know it sucks. But remember it is just a game, you just have fun playing SC2, don't be too serious with the game!

But i keep going in laddering to practice. I like to thanks Zen for bring my coach, who still wants to coach me for this while and the patience to do so as well. So i think you should find a player in mGG or outside mGG, that can coach you and have the patience to coach you. There many people in mGG can help you, to name a few: Alpha, Luna, Fender, CookieMonsta, Nemesis, yuu, etc...

Each time you want to rage, just pause and take your hands off the keyboard for bit. Close your eyes and think of happy thoughts that can probable stop raging thoughts from entering your head. You can also do this, but simply just getting off the computer and walk around (or throw water on your face). Pretty much do something you find calming and relaxing.

Don't give up! A journey of a thousand steps, must begin with one single step! So keep pushing ahead and you will get there!

Hopefully this post helps you in anyways. If not, i'm sorry.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Your problem may be that you take the game too seriously. I had the same problem (multiple times, in fact) with League of Legends. I figured out that I placed too much emphasis on winning rather than having fun. The fix I found was to just stop playing. As a result I've taken many a few month breaks from the game and when I come back I always enjoy it more because it becomes about having fun rather than making sure my team wins.

Another approach - which lessens the risk of you becoming rusty after taking a break from the game - would be more along the lines of Bjornbrandr's comment. If you get angry when you lose, you're angry at your own "failure" and taking it out on someone else (ladder losses also royally piss me off). What you need to learn to do is recognise that a loss is not a failure, but rather an important stepping stone towards becoming a better player. The game is supposed to be fun. If it's not fun, you missed the point of playing a game.

To me its just about changing the mindset. Seeing an army get demolished in a casted game might look like a totally sick move that should be applauded, but it's not so awesome when it happens to you, right? Appreciate the cool things that can happen in the game. Learn to laugh at your mistakes, enjoy the challenge of trying to win and focus on the positives (there will always be at least one!).

If you well and truly can't quell your rage, leave the game then write out your abuse in notepad or something. At least that way you're not being rude to someone for no reason.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

this is probs one of the biggest things, try and relax with it abit and just try and have fun with the game.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

My advice would just to play to improve. Don't focus on your w/l or your points, but just try to improve from each game. When you lose, just think of how you would have played better to win that game the next time. Losing is ok , just learn from your mistakes.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Yep yep, just play for fun

And instead of bming, just type 'gg' even if you don't mean it. It's a good habit to get into and the more you do it and get used to it the easier it will become. Be the bigger man. Nothing comes from bad mannering the opponent, maybe some small temporary relief from anger or frustration, but nothing positive really comes from it. If you're getting really worked up I suggest taking a break or going for a walk, a lot of the time when you're playing when you're tilted you'll just end up playing worse.

Sometimes I gg when I get manner muled, mass scanned, proxy nexus etc. I'm not saying that you should have to gg to this sort of crap, you don't, but just don't let it get to you too much. You will feel proud of yourself and less discouraged from the loss too.
You're going to lost half of your games, so don't take loses personally. Almost everyone (apart from high tier koreans and a small amount of foreigners) have a winrate between 40%-60%, so what you're going through is what most people deal with. You just have to deal with the urge to bm

When it all comes down to it, we do play for fun and our enjoyment!

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Get #dedication and play 50 games a day, then never lose to anyone. Problem solved?


Seriously tho mate, just enjoy the game and stop and think before you rage and press the enter key on the offensive messages. I've written "your just a cheesey ****" in game chat before leaving, but I've never pressed enter, I just don't GG someone if it wasn't a good game. Everyone gets that rage and often writting the abusive message is just a way to get it out of your system. The trick is to find another output or learn to manage your rage. If you can't get over your rage then this game may be unhealthy for you or there may be other elements in your life in which you don't feel in control or capable of outputting negative energy in a healthy way. So make sure you have a good holistic look at yourself and these issues. If you find its contained to SC2 then you might find that SC2 is not the right game for you as a 'game' for enjoyment. Or it could be that you should finally tell your neighbour off for being a **** and letting his dog shit on your lawn, or where-ever else negativity is coming into your life.

Good luck chief!

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Just to tack onto what I said before, it's really all in the mindset you have. I start every game with a "hfgl!" and end every game with a "gg!", no exceptions. You need to convince yourself that you're enjoying playing the game and that you're embracing the learning that comes with it. I really don't care if I get proxy 2-gated 3 games in a row because so be it; I didn't react properly. I don't care if the other person tells me to "get the **** out scrub" or "ez points", I have a chance to improve how I play and I love that!
In the end, it's better to bring yourself up to the highest level than to expect that everyone else drops down to yours.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Yeah...what Chase say...to be honest I don't GG, but i also don't BM them. But if you don't want to say GG, than try not to BM them, just leave the game and leave it at that. You probable feel better doing that than keeping you rage after the game has ended.

Past is the past! No point dwelling on the past! Look for the future!

So relax before and after your games

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Find a way to enjoy playing, or, find another game you can dick around in and don't care about so when you feel angry or frustrated you have something else to play to relax. I have a bunch of silly steam games etc which are perfect for chillaxxxxing.

That or make a smurf account you can be a douche on. Either works

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

keep ur cool Philo... why waste ur apm on raging... just a simple "gg" to end the game or if u think it's not really a good game... just type "mGG!"... if u find ur blood start boiling after a game... just go to the arcade section to find some fun game to chill... or even u can go youtube -> type -> lagtv... and watch maximumblack and novawar rage on others... getting upset over a game will not win u a game... having fun with the game (win or loss) is the most important thing...

after u deal with ur anger... it does not mean ur game will improve... it still take some discipline to push ur game to next level... like training macro/micro, train around some builds, watch replay, watch some pro matches, learning the current metagame and etc... just spending ur time keep playing and playing without understanding the game will get u any further... unless u r some kind of genius...

i have to confess that the above i mention... i am not able to do it cause i am damn lazy... but i try to commit myself to some mGG clan games to make myself practise and think about what i should do for the game... and it works pretty good for me i guess... when the heat is on... it keep u going... so if u don't give up and we will not give up on u

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

I have found myself getting mad after losing in the past (although I don't type out my rage usually) and the method I used to help get over it is to watch the replay and notice at least one thing my opponent did well, and adopt that into my play. That way I don't feel bad for losing because I know they did something right, and I gain at least 1 thing from the loss.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

There are many good points said above. We have also had countless discussions on this. Gamewise, I know there are a few players e.g. South who has been actively trying to help.

Same as mentioned above, I always start the game saying 'Hi' and 'gg' at the end at the game even if it is cheese. Unless the other player is a bm-ing person or trolling/bm-ing cheese, then I might just leave the game without a 'gg'. Still the opponent doesn't have to know how I feel or receive any satisfaction knowing how mad I might be (whether at myself or the game itself etc).

Don't give up Philo. Rage is bad for the health as well. Count to 10 before hitting the 'enter' key if u have typed something unpleasant. Read it again. Would u like it if someone said that to you? If no, cancel. If I find myself losing much, (even more than 3 in a row is considered too much to me) I stop playing and switch either to another server to play OR chill in chats OR play team games OR practice games. Rotate the types of games u play... doesn't always have to be ladder.

Take care Hope you can control the problem and not let the problem control you.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Find a style that you enjoy playing, and from there begin to make your own build orders. I used to do this a lot when I was working up to where I am today. Really, from bronze to masters I was running more or less entirely on my own build orders. I had a few short ones that were made by others, generally all ins/cheese (3 hatch ling bane a la Zenio in ZvP). If you're spending your money, keeping out of supply blocks, and constantly producing, AND your build concept, or build order, is solid, you shouldn't have any problems getting into Diamond league.

With all that being said, I'm aware that Zerg is a lot more forgiving when it comes to the use of build orders; so you might want to be a bit more rigid in your usage of them. I used to have a +1 melee zergling all in in ZvZ that I made that basically got me to gold (where I had to relearn ZvZ), simply because that build worked so well vs the various early roach play I saw lots of players using. Learn what works vs what, observe what people around your level generally like to do, then start scouting for indicators; and react in the way that your build order allows you. For instance, if you open robo and scout twilight, you might want to consider going obs before immortal; or if you open stargate you might want to go for an oracle harass instead of phoenix first. Even though protoss isn't necessarily considered a "reactive race" you should still react.

Good manner is important to your enjoyment of the game. I find that when I get angry and frustrated, venting my anger online tends to lead to more problems, and guilt, than it's worth; and it doesn't really make me feel any better about anything. It's much better, instead of raging at your opponent at the end of a game, to simply type "gg", and calmly step away from the computer. Go outside for a breath of fresh air; and consider with a neutral mindset what went wrong for you that game. Then come back, watch the replay (again, neutral and open minded. Come at it, not as a defeated player; but as a curious student learning what went wrong and where); search for the point where your macro goes to shit. Is it before any sort of engagement? If so, then you know what you need to fix, and it's simple to fix. You should be macroing relatively well when you aren't engaging your opponent because that should be your main focus.

Anyway, I'm writing an essay here without really saying as much as needs to be said for good work ethic in StarCraft, but generally you want to look at a problem from all angles instead of just your point of view. Be good mannered, and open to learning new things and improvement will come at a faster rate. Also, play lots of games and keep repeating processes when you lose; find where you lost the game and keep playing with that in mind. Good luck

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Everyone's right with what they're saying, if it sounds blunt and straight up don't take it badly, some people just have to say it that way.

Anyways, my advice is that you just gotta have fun. Take a loss as a learning experience, use it as a stepping stone to improve. I used to rage pretty bad as well (actually to be honest I still do sometimes) but I just make sure to get my mind off it and just focus on wanting to improve. If I lose too much, I take a breather; have a break (have a kitkat).

Playing something other than SC2 actually does help, gets your mind off the things you're mad about and just have fun playing something different. There's HEAPS of games for that.

Rage = stress and when you stress you can't think properly and also other effects. I know this first hand; I actually have really bad stress levels to the point that I start to twitch and get chest pains, also I tend to always be stiff (as in always have my muscles tensed). It took me going to the doctor to find out it was due to stress. And hey it's a bad thing so I have to do something about it. So yeah, I just try and have fun as much as possible and take losses as a step to getting better. Except I'm just a lazy ass, but that's a different story.

It'd be good if you also are out and about having fun with your friends and such, or do some kind of outdoor activity.

TL;DR: Don't let losses get to you and cause you to stress out. The worst you can do to yourself is make things worse for you outside of the game. Take losses as a stepping stone to improvement and try to have as much fun in and out of game as possible. It won't be easy but I'm sure you're able to do this.

All the best for you man, always here if you need it.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Here Are some quotes:

Don't worry too much about getting Diamond by end of this year (it will happen one day)! Don't focus too much on you have to get it! The journey to Diamonds is whats important, not Diamond itself! There will be many obstacles along the way, learn too over come them, step by step.That is what is important! Learning along the way! Having Fun along the way!

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

I'd like to add that rage is an absolutely natural emotion. You don't have to feel bad about it. Many great professional players have been ragers at some point in their career, not just in Starcraft but in ANY sport (Roger Federer is a fantastic example).

If you're setting goals for yourself, that's fantastic. But in order the reach those goals, there are times when you will not have fun. This is unavoidable. There is no gain without some pain. But you need to push through it.

Yes, controlling rage will lead to less tilting and more consistency as a player. And it will make it easier to push through when you're feeling discouraged. But you don't owe it to some cheesy shitty random ladder kid to control your rage. Fu ck em. Control your rage because it makes you a better player.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Rage is really difficult to control. I find that even if my opponent has cheesed or all-in'd me, I will just GG and move on to the next game. That way the rage doesn't continue into my next game, affecting my play. You'll learn to control it man - good luck with your journey dude!

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Whats wrong with typing ''Ur a f-ing cheesey noob" before exiting a computer game? :O

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

Zepph has it pretty spot on. I know I rage when I take the game too seriously, when I hold sc2 too high of an importance in my life. But I dont think you have to stop playing to fix the problem. You just need to realise how unimportant sc2 actually is if you take a step back and take a look.

I know I felt like this years back (back in broodwar) when I was a student and not doing much more than play bw.

I ended up giving myself a whole different mind set by actually adding more thing in my life, like working out often, and work full time, you look at sc2 with less significance than a do or die activity. And it has actually improved me significantly, recently reaching masters, and training more quality than quantity.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

why are you apologising here? if youre in silver probably no one you play actually visits this site. its not like you BM'd in a tourny?

Its not possible to apologise to everyone you ever played, and apologising here doesnt really hold any purpose, if you want to make ammends, just manner the **** up on ladder

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

i'm really bad with getting motivated to play sc2, and when i do play it's really easy for me to just quit out of anger or rage. one thing in hots that has helped is playing unranked - the reason i rage is because mistakes cost me the game, points, and a ladder ratio, unranked prevents this and makes the game more about improving and having fun.

once you realise that the game should be taken as if it was a hobby, something to have fun with, rather than a competitive, focus-intensive objective, you'll enjoy it and stop raging.

if you find this difficult and you're still bming other people, one thing i do is just take the anger out on myself - don't blame balance, don't blame the tactics of other people - try to find what you did wrong and blame your own mistakes instead of the actions of other people and things out of your control.

Re: An apology and plea for help.
 

You shouldn't have the time for emotions when you're following your build order and macroing I can't even imagine getting mad at sc2 there is too much to do ingame. No time for being mad.